Have you ever wondered why you get on better with some people than others?
Have you ever noticed that some people seem very persuasive?
The following article will allow you to develop your communication skills to a level that will help you in all areas of your life including relationships, social life and career.
When people speak they use predicates [ sensory specific words ] these words describe the mode that they are communicating in.
For example some predicates they may use ;
Visual = see, focus, picture, scene, visualise, same vision.
Auditory = hear, sounds, in tune, in harmony, singing from same hymn sheet.
Kinaesthetic = feels, grounded, solid, stable, in touch with.
Olfactory = smell a rat, something fishy, bad taste, bitter pill to swallow.
Either visual, auditory or kinaesthetic are the most commonly used modes and are what is called a persons favoured system, so if a person is communicating using for example lots of visual words and you answer them in the same mode [ visual ] then you will match their thinking, if you use another mode you will miss-match and find reaching agreement more difficult.
So to give you an idea of some examples that people commonly use, if someone says, ” Do you see my point?”[ that’s perfectly clear to me ], or “How does that sound?”[ that sounds like you know exactly what you’re talking about ] you understand the system they are using, “Are you getting to grips with the idea?”[ I feel like I’m getting a solid grounding in this ]
The first step to mastering this is observe, listen, and take note of the way others are communicating, you will start to notice these sensory predicates and the way people unconsciously use them in their everyday conversations. Try matching in low risk situations for example when speaking to shop assistants or similar places then when you become proficient you can use your new found skill to influence and persuade in high stakes situations of your choice.
These skills will help you in relationships, business interviews / negotiations etc, and can help you to create and maintain strong and positive friendships, use them ethically and they will serve you well for the rest of your life.